A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?"

"I'm sure I can." the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."

did you hear what happened to the ugly duckling?

he was cooked and served with some fatherbeans and a nice kianti

(if you don't get the reference, go watch silence of the lambs)

if a blonde and a brunette jumped off a tall building at the same time, who would hit the ground first?

the brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions

Lol funny,funny and Englishmen,Irishmen and a scottishmen were at war and they were captured and at Gunpoint. The Englishmen yelled out "Avalanch" and all the People looked around. He made his escape. the scottishmen said "Flood" and everyone turned around. and he made his escape and then the Irishmen was left. He yelled "Fire" . . .

Dont get it:

There's 3 people on a plain, the pilot said we need to drop some things quick! so the first guy droped a rck, the second guy droped a boulder, and the third guy dropped a bomb when they landed they saw a guy crying , they asked what the matter was and he said a rock fell on my head, then they saw a 2nd guy crying and they asked what the matter was, he said a boulder fell on his head, then they saw a guy laughing his ass off and they all said "why are you laughing people have been hurt" and the guy said i know but my grandpa farted and the house behind him blew up.

That was hilarious when I first heard it

What comes once in a minute twice in a momment but never in a hundred billion years A. The letter "M"

lol. Knock Knock! whos there? Boo, Boo who?? Mate dont cry its only a joke

lol
what do you call a bird that can't move?
Dead

Theres two in every room and one in every corner what is it?? The letter O lol

That was pretty good
Two Guys walk into a bar and said ow

Once there lived a father a mother and a boy they went to picnic and suddenly the chocolate that boy hold fell down and his mother said dont worry child i will buy a chocolate and after some time his father slipped and the boy said don't worry mom i will buy a new father

that's mean but funny. A man slipped on a banana peel and cracked his head open and I laughed and laughed!

once there lived a humpty dumpty he sat on a wall and fell down lol

lol Once I ran into a pole and cried and my friend laughed!!

once a man is going to a room he suddenly put the switch on and the fan rotated

lol
A man fell over.

note:this is not a joke for those who watch pogo regularly

what do u call a pig that does karate?
a pork chop

What do you call a blind man. NOTHING HE CAN STILL HEAR YOU!

how do u ask a blind man to give water just ask to give wate

How many People does it take to change a lightball? 1 IT'S NOT THAT HARD

all of you laugh the joke is over

I found a chicken. It said Buck and I laughed

when my friend bought chiccken to eat it laid eggs lol

I had a puppy who said meow!

What is the color of the burp?

Burple

My friend jumped into mud I laughed