So if anyone actually reads to the end, you'll get a cookie.
I needed a place to rant. And I didn't feel like doing it on other forums 'cause they'd care too much..>_> Anyway, I need a break. Legit. Need. A. Break. I've had so much homework. Like right now, I should be doing my essays (yes, essayS) for both history and English. Kill. Me. Now. Ugh. And I didn't even get home until 8:40PMish 'cause I've been at band and selling hoagies. I'm so tired right now and I don't even know how late I'm going to be staying up until. After tomorrow, I shall be free of essays and such. And then I can enjoy the weekend with band and...homework...and hoagies. Ughh. Yeah, life's busy. Really busy.
It's like I love high school but hate it at the exact same time. I have SO much more freedom than middle school but I've been getting so much homework. I'm in honors classes bytheway. And I KNEW it was going to be really hard for me this year but I still did it because I need stuff on my portfolio when colleges and universities look at how I did in high school. I really want to get into a good college, but I'm not near the top of my class--SO competitive--and I don't have enough outside activities. I do marching band, youth orchestra, Chinese school, competitions and that's about it. I have no community service, BUT I definitely need to get started on that this year. I also need to join more clubs but I might not have enough time.
What I see with a lot of people here is that people are wasting their lives away on the internet...Once you get to high school and the REAL WORLD (high school's not even considered the real world) then you'll regret what you've done in the past. I've already regretted. Wasted my 7th grade year and 8th grade year on forums. Once you get serious, you understand what's at stake. And some people might think, "Okay what the hell is she talking about?" But I'm serious here. It's not worth wasting your time until 3 in the morning on the computer then feeling crappy the next day. If I could, I'd be sleeping at NINE or TEN at night. Ugh. I need sleep. I've been sleep deprived this week. I also haven't been sleeping well in general. But yeah, sleep is good. You'll WANT sleep when you get older. Enjoy it while it lasts. I didn't, and I regretted.
I feel like I've regretted a lot the past couple of years. My education, my friends, and my home life. I've made such bad decisions last year with school. I took geoscience and learned about fucking rocks and space WOO. Like. WTF. I look back and I'm like "wow I was stupid". I'm now a year behind compared to honors students. I should be taking Chemistry this year. But I'm taking Biology. (Bio honors bytheway, but still) And friends'-wise, I've lost contact of some of my best friends the past year. Sure, I've gained a TON of new friends and stuff but I want to go back and remember the fun times I had with some certain other people. This also goes for internet friends. I've lost contact of at least ten different people ever since I started foruming years back.
Mann, I wish I had more time to forum. I LOVE foruming and meeting new people online. I mean I've made so many new friends over the years from around the world. It's interesting really. And just a secret but I was almost going to be in a relationship with someone a couple months back. But we ended up as best friends and still are. Oh, and my love live needs serious work. Haha I have never gone out with anyone or gotten a first kiss. And I've been rejected recently, like a couple weeks ago, but the guy and I are still really good friends and it's not awkward. But I do still like him a lot. And I need to get over him because I'm pretty sure he still likes a girl that just graduated from high school last year. If only the world was perfect. But whatever, I'll get over him. Hopefully. The only thing is that I've liked him for 10 and a half months. Pathetic really. Whatever. It just sucks and you have to deal with it. Just like every other thing in life.
So going back on the time management thing, I wish the world never had the concept of time. Mind blowing I know. But time is such a deadline, an end for people. The deaths of people. The ending. And I really wish I could do whatever I wanted without time. Deadlines put way too much pressure on me and I can never finish on time with my best work. Especially with homework and essays specifically. I wish I had time just to relax and let go of whatever came to mind. Like playing the piano. I recently got into playing the piano. Well, I've been playing for probably 9 years or something, but I've ALWAYS hated the piano. I think it was because of my teacher. Ugh. But I quit this year in piano lessons and I've been trying to find all the spare time I can to play a piece or learn something new. And that reminds me that I have to also practice my erhu (Chinese two string fiddle)and I really need to practice these stupid runs on my saxophone. Haha me, musical much? But I actually really like art a LOT.
Yeah, ONE of my favorite things to do besides hanging out with friends or eating, I love to do something art-related. Like sketching, or making a graphic. My art's no where close to where I want it to be but I just love doing it. It's my hobby. And I'm really proud of this: Clicky for picture
. Easily the best thing I've drawn. But if I could fix it (and I think everyone knows by now that I do give criticism on everything) I would define the shape more and also fix the shadow. I stupidly had it in the wrong spot. This is why I shouldn't move my pieces until the sketch is complete.
Anyway yeah, my stream of consciousness for you. Basically what's been on my mind for forever. Well, not everything, but a lot. And I do have a lot on my mind. Like homework. Ew. I need to get to that now. And oh, I didn't forget. If you read all the way down here you get a cookie.